Hurt beyond hurt. Haha well, seems like posting here is becoming a norm. Guess what? He called me fucking stupid. Not just stupid, FUCKING stupid. Even Zhen Han has never called me that. You've changed. That dream I woke up crying to, where you didn't care about me and that you were mean to me, it's all coming true. It's coming true. Haha. Am I really wrong? You tell me to keep my promises. Aren't I trying? Am I breaking any of the promises I made to you now dear? Honestly, I was the type who gossiped so much, and td people so many things I was supposed to keep a secret. Now I want to make it up, you want me to break a promise to someone whom I actually treated as a good friend. Am I really wrong dear? Someone anyone tell me? Niklaus, yes I felt neglected, when he said he actually liked me but gave Apple more love. But it's okay, I treat him as a friend, a good one. Who was there for me, when I was down. He treated me to lunch, he cabbed down from woodlands just to pick me up and go all the way back to Toa Payoh. He came all the way down to Tampines to meet me the first time. To you dear, he may be a jerk. Yes I admit he isn't being mature, but he was there for me. He was the one that showed me care and concern, that I wasn't actually not wanted by anyone at all. He made me forget about Zhen Han. He was the one who made me laugh. He was the one who told me about his stories. I may be close to him, but I no longer feel anything for him, simply a close friend. Dear if I asked you to forget your Jie or your Nu Er, would you feel disappointed and sad too? Yes right, cos they're someone who actually mean something to you. I know, they're good people, they don't two time. But Nik, was just someone who really changed me. And yes I admit I don't know much about the law, or what may happen. But what I do know is someone will get hurt eventually I don't want that to happen. I knew Apple didn't like me. But she was still really nice to me, I didn't want her to get hurt either. Is there anything wrong I did? Please someone tell me? He called me fucking stupid. That just hurt me so deep. I'm hurt beyond hurt. Yup. That was terrible dear, do you even regret saying that? I wouldn't be surprised if you called me a bitch it slut or anything worse in the future. Cos you're not who you are anymore dear. You're becoming what you were in the past. You're becoming my past, my nightmare. And I'm afraid. So very afraid. Can anybody hear me? Or am I talking to myself? I really don't know what to do. I have no one to talk to, to accompany me for the long night ahead. No one nothing. I feel miserable. Funny how I'm not crying. I think I'm just numb to everything already. The way you flare up at me. I'm always the one conceding now isn't it. I don't talk back, I don't show you attitude. Who's the one doing it now? Huh? You're not the boss of this relationship. I deserve to say my piece too. But whatever I say you just have to put me down somehow or another. Cos yeah I'm fucking stupid right? Right? As much as I love you dear, I find it hard to forgive you for what you said. It hurt a lot. I'm sorry.
